-Tyler Woods, grade 5
It was Christmas Eve on the farm, and Silly Goose was telling a Christmas story to Bucktooth Chicken and Roasted Rooster.
“Twas the night before Christmas and all through the farm, nothing was stirring except for Farm-Bot who was making a smoothie.”
“Uh, I don’t think these are the correct words,” said Bucktooth Chicken.
“Sure they are! just sit back and relax,” said Silly Goose. He continued.
“The stockings were hung on the neighbors’ trash cans with care, in the hopes that Punxsutawney Phil would soon be there.”
“OK, this is even worse than Scooter Squirrel!” said Roasted Rooster.
“The pigs were all nestled all snug in their beds with visions of cheese curls dancing in their heads.”
Bucktooth and R.R looked at each other, rolling their eyes.
“And Tinkerbell in her kerchief and I in my fire helmet, had just settled in for a long Saint Patrick’s Day party,” he continued.
“Is this even published?” asked Bucktooth Chicken.
“When out from the Bahamas there arose such a clatter. I sprang from my Honda to see what was the matter. Away to my telescope I flew like the Flash. Then Superman fed me a lobster for my hard work.”
“This book isn’t even rhyming!” yelled Roasted Rooster.
“The Bat Signal was shining on the ground. Sorry the next page got ripped out of the book,” Silly Goose said.
“Who wrote this? What does Tinkerbell and Batman have to do with Christmas?!”yelled Bucktooth Chicken.
“Then Santa magically teleported to my lawn and yelled – Now, Nutty! Now, Spottie! Now Brownie! On Sneezie! On Tuffy and Chubbie!”
“Those are squirrels–not reindeer!!” yelled Roasted Rooster.
“This part of the story is kinda fuzzy but we all know how Figgy The Fabulous Flying Feline saved Davy Crockett in Star Wars, so there is no point in telling you again,” he answered.
“What is he even talking about??” whispered Bucktooth Chicken.
“No clue” said Roasted Rooster.
“As I was flexing my mussels in the mirror, Punxsutwney Phil crashed down the chimney and magically transformed into Scooby Doo.”
“Why am I still listening to this?” asked Bucktooth Chicken.
“Scooby filled all the stockings to the brim, which made all of his monkey elves appear! They hung up a disco ball and turned the radio on. They sang and danced all night until all of the neighbors called the cops because of their racket.”
“When the police appeared Scooby sprang to the roof and whistled to the squirrels and they then soared out of sight and yelled-
“Stop, just stop,”said B.C. “This is the worst version of The Night Before Christmas I’ve ever heard!”
“This isn’t the night before Christmas,” said Silly Goose. “This is a dream I had the night before Christmas!”
Just then Farm-Bot said, “Uh, do any of you know who’s the giant groundhog with a Santa hat that came down the chimney?”
Hearing this, Bucktooth Chicken fainted.
Merry Christmas to all from the Farm!!!
”I sure hope Clement C. Moore will hear this!” exclaimed Roasted Rooster.